I really enjoy learning new things - I am a hands on type of person - reading about things is not as interesting as experiencing them (at least to me)
yesterday was a hands on experience for me - a hands on with Joanie.
you know - before Baltimore - I never knew Joanie - I had come to know and love Edie - but I only saw an outline of Joanie - never anything substantial - kind of like seeing a shadow of a person....
And even being here UNTIL yesterday - I guess I didn't "see" her then either....
Yesterday was emotional for me - I was feeling stressed, frustrated and constantly close to tears - I felt as if I couldn't handle all that I needed to - and felt inadequate in keeping up with all that Marilyn and Bob did last week - and I wondered just what I was doing wrong....(I won't wallow in this but I did do some aromatherapy with Lavender after my shower and felt very level and solid afterwards - and the meeting, Jehovah's holy spirit and the friends topped it off) I am a self-evaluator - so I had to find out what was wrong with me...and it was that I wasn't seeing it all
Last night, well after 11pm - I saw it - and it became so clear - and everything is different in the light of a new wednesday...
I fell in love with Joanie - her heart is in my heart - I finally saw what it was all about and all the frustrations melted away as Tuesday wore into Wednesday....
I wrote how Joanie was brave - I totally believed that before - but it is concrete now - watching her do whatever it takes to cool herself down - being tired and equally stressed - she pressed on. Her attitude about her fast approaching new look - I could use the word respect - but it's a lot more than that. I knew that I would love her because I loved loved and still love Edie - but now - I can, from my heart say that I love her and am determined to be here for her now and later.
It is so true that new experiences build a better me....
No comments:
Post a Comment